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The Hurrying Beast by ~l0stwhispers:iconl0stwhispers:



The wind
it rushes past in a hurry, rattling my
windows and stirring up
the leaves

Through the thin alley, it hurries
stumbling with its long arms and
big feet, it hurries

Its eyes looking frantically for the exit from
the place it has trapped itself in
it howls, scared

I think it looked through my window as
it ran past
looked me straight in the eye
blue, blue eyes

I hear it moaning down the alley
crying
for an escape and then

silence
©2007-2009 ~l0stwhispers
:iconl0stwhispers:

Author's Comments

Something which just happened. I wonder whether it really is that windy outside.

It reminded me of the scene in Howl's Moving Castle, when the girl is sitting in her room working on the hats and the train passes by. Don't know why it reminded me of that, but yea.

Comments


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:iconstrawberryspider:
nice! I like how it's broken up, especially in the first 2 stanzas.
I'm not QUITE sure about the blue eyes though...

--
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.
:iconl0stwhispers:
Lol yea... hm. I thought that was a tad awkward too. Hm... I'll change it somehow. Thanks! ;)

--
You don't know me.
So don't act like you do.
Don't ask me either,
'Cause I too don't have a clue.

... Evelyn ...
:iconstrawberryspider:
Hmm, I think it was awkward to me because the poem seemed to be about this beastly UNhuman thing and then suddenly there were blue eyes - which I think of as human.

--
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.
:iconl0stwhispers:
Hehe yea... I was trying to portray the wind as humanly as possible, really. The anger, the way it was scared, and how it had feet and arms as well, and blue eyes. :bucktooth:

--
You don't know me.
So don't act like you do.
Don't ask me either,
'Cause I too don't have a clue.

... Evelyn ...
:iconklit-shy:
reading this was like
watching the very scene.

VIVID. :heart:

--
~
i write. this is what i want.
and sometimes i write lyrics for boy bands.
:iconl0stwhispers:
Thank you! :heart:

--
You don't know me.
So don't act like you do.
Don't ask me either,
'Cause I too don't have a clue.

... Evelyn ...
:icondebdatta:
I like the way you personify a simple thing. I like the first two stanzas and the last one. The inclusion of 'eyes' is bit awkward. Otherwise its quite beautiful!

:hug:

--
Few moments with colors & words-
Debdatta
Poet & Photographer
:iconl0stwhispers:
Lol thank you! :heart: Yea, the 'eyes' thing has been bothering quite a number of people. Thanks anyway! =D

--
You don't know me.
So don't act like you do.
Don't ask me either,
'Cause I too don't have a clue.

... Evelyn ...
:icondebdatta:
My pleasure!

:hug:

--
Few moments with colors & words-
Debdatta
Poet & Photographer

Details

September 9, 2007
677 bytes

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