Drained
after last night's sobs had wrecked my body,
I labour to breathe,
with full knowledge that there is no more frustration left,
but also aware of that weightlessness you feel
as you start your descent from the peak of a rollercoaster,
that weightlessness
in the back of your throat,
a scream waiting to emerge,
more emotions.
Drained
after grasping and clawing at wisps of nothingness
in the hope that I can pull myself out of this ever-expanding silhouette,
I lie in this cell,
listening to the imagined laughter in the distance,
wishing, hoping,
sighing,
letting the emotions trickle through my fingertips.
I write.
There can be so much colour, and there can be none.
Take the brush with you, and run… just run.
Strokes on the walls, splashes across the floor
The bleakness… can't take this no more.
Pull the staring rainbow down from the sky
And make the abandoned colours around the city fly.
This starkness can all be undone,
There can be so much colour, there can't be none.
What is living?
The focus - is it on every moment, every day, every week, every life?
Because right now, it feels like I take a deep breath on Sunday nights
And close my eyes and when I open them again and surface for another breath,
It's the weekend and I'm
exhausted.
I try to recover over what's called the weekend, and then
Sunday night comes round again
And it's time to go back under.
Stuff,
stuff,
stuff all around me
Things to do,
things to catch up,
to reply to,
to note,
to...
I need to live.
Your fingers curl against the cold steel of the chair
The ends of your lips twitch into a smile, a snarl.
As you try to control the injustice that burns within, the mask slips on.
Or does it?
The words you're hearing, the words you heard...
You breathe in, but all there is, is asphyxiation.
Stop -
But you can't
Stop thinking -
But you can't.
Stuck, in a loop, over and over.
The expressions you saw on their faces, the expressions you're still seeing on their faces...
Is this what it is?
That... feeling, that
... uncomfortableness,
that...
shame.
You're like a familiar melody I've heard once before
racing in the rain to catch the bus
only to have paused for a split second
to watch the old woman across the street
take a last step to footpath
while crossing the road
to get some hot cross buns to feed
her grandson because he's home
sick from a cold and a rasping cough
that she can't fix and it hurts,
it hurts her heart and her soul
but she can only soothe it
soothe him with hot cross buns
and an embrace
many embraces
And she crosses the road
and I hear a little hum waft into my cold ears
my ears, they hurt
but this melody
this melody you remind me of
touches the cold
The truth hides behind the sun,
Never wanting to appear.
So I shall tell lies instead
No secrets, only lies.
I don't want to hurt your feelings,
With these passionate thoughts of mine.
I don't want this to end, so I will tell
No secrets, only lies.
A mask I put on
To hide the real me.
Secrets do not exist in my world
No secrets, only lies.
Secrets are hard to keep,
They eat away one's soul, my soul.
A mask I do have, so I can only tell
No secrets, only lies.
Lies hide the disgusting truth,
While secrets are a terrible burden.
In this world of mine, I have
No secrets, only lies.
So please, don't tell me any secrets,
For I
Mummy, mummy,
A friend of mine cried today.
But I could only stand aside,
And watch her tears slowly fade away.
It pained me so,
It tore up my heart.
But, what could I do,
Mummy, to bring her back up?
Oh, sweet honey, baby,
Why do you think so much?
Just tap her on the shoulder
And offer her a hug.
Mummy, mummy!
I failed a test today.
I tried my very best,
But it just didn't turn out okay.
It pained me so,
It tore up my heart.
But, what can I do,
Mummy, to start being smart?
Oh, sweet honey, baby,
Why do you think so much?
Just try again,
And never give up.
Mummy, mummy!
My boyfriend broke up with me today.
The love
I trudged up to the musty attic, in hope of finding a treasure or two. Creeping up the stairs stealthily, I looked around the dirty room. I bent down slightly, so as not to hit my head on the slanted roof. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shimmer. Turning around sharply, I caught the eyes of a doll. Curious, I walked over and picked it up. Holding it in front of me, I saw that the porcelain doll's face was smudgy although her eyes were still a brilliant blue. I swept away the dust on her sapphire dress, sneezing twice when I accidentally inhaled some.
I skipped down the stairs, eager to clean up my new-found doll. I soaked a cloth in the
I was once ugly,
Deep down inside.
But you came along
And switched on my light.
I was once mean
To all I knew.
But you came along
And taught me to feel.
I was once a failure
In everything I did.
But you came along
And told me to quit.
You taught me the steps,
You taught me the way.
You held my hand tight
In yours all the way.
Your eyes light up the path,
Your hand guides me through.
Your voice soothes me
With words, you make me new.
Thank you
For all the love you gave
For all the care you showed.
Thank you for letting me behave
As me.
Someone made a hole in my heart,
Causing it to bleed.
Although it may be hard,
It's as fragile as a seed.
The stars may be shining
Shining up ahead,
But deep inside my soul is rotting,
Rotting like the dead.
The emptiness scares me,
And I shiver in fear.
The hollowness engulfs me,
And I feel myself rear.
I crouch in the darkness,
Waiting for rescue.
In a moment's briefness,
A light surrounds you.
You hold out your hand to me,
Eyes gesturing ever so kindly.
I reach out and touch your palm softly,
My heart fluttering nervously.
You lock your fingers around mine
And pull me out of the dark.
In front of me y